Author's Randomness :3
2025/05/17guyz, gurlies, enbeanies, lif haz been so weird latly. new job iz coolio, new projectz r coolio, thers talk between my pratner & i abt getting engaged whih is crazy coolio. but i still feel off. used to wnt to collab w others but itz been sevral projekts wher i find myslf doing most of da work & now, I thnk i jst want to dev alone. its wat feels safe.
im surrounded by wondful frinds. people who genuinely car about my wellbing, but i jst cant bring myself to let them in the same wy i used to. its lik im not as excitd about art, or rather, sharing my art as i used to b.
see dear readr, i thnk this is the problem w me: im scared of people, but my goal has always been to use my art to connect w others, the way art connected w me & made things bareable when i was little. i thought if i just focused on my thinbgsz & stayed in mey serial experiences lane, thingz would be oki. but life doesnt work tht gerard way. turnz out u cnt mak art wthout dealing w other peopl, and in the current online environment, not withot commodifying urself into a brand either.
i dont find myself particularly relatable or likable. im just kinda weird. and im oki w that. see, weird people dont belong anywher ,but thy at lest belon in the artz rite? and my genuine artistic voice is so sad. like if i didnt filter anythin, ud immediatly clock thaat i got Le Big Bad Childhood Trauma. but tis oki cuz i got really goood at twsting that darkness into somethin spooky & entertining. i can mask.
screenshot of the nitro+chiral vn: Slow Damage
u couldd think this is depressing, but its not. not for me at least, its kinda fun actually. i get to vent & you get to experience thrils &s catharsis. match madde in heaven, if u asked me. veryy yuri-coded. but things r kinda different now.
everythin is business. evrything is content now. & it feels like the average person has forgotten what a pre-influencer world was like. thres little room for gnuine self exprssion that isnt meassured or evaluatd. like, imm not evn bad at the buisiness stuff, but it feels like people show less & less awareness that their relationships & identities are being mediated by these systems. career aspirations, self-actualization goals, & social life all get tied into that. and idk how to exist in that kind of space. (┬┬﹏┬┬)
i thnk this is wat led me to really focus on political theory & philosophy for th last year. i learned a lot & it relly opennd my eyes to new ways of lookin at the world. not sure it actually made me happier, but it did make Disco Elysium that much more enjoyable to get into!
me, pre & post HRT
not sure what im gonna do from here. i wanna keep making art. but clearly the weird funk im in isnt helping. sorry 4 spilling on my own website. (btw, the cool girl in the gif is called Inga & they are from the anime Un-Go, in case anyon wanted the sauce. you shouyld watch it. u should really watch ungo) anywys imma go eat icescrem & cry myself to slep. byeeeeeeeee
- f*gsob
2024/01/16
We hav a bran new landing page!! 2024 already huh? wild hw quikly tim passes. the 2023 retrospective video did wel ^^ (link 2 vimdeo) im excited to share more vids in th futur! i fimished writng the nxt 1 btw... :3
am proud of dis thumnail :3
am working on a mew gam w a friend!! i cant say much yet, but itll be scawy & have a lot of 3d!! think baroque but vimsual novel,
on amnother notee, i finaaly finnishd madoka magica. i was kinda bored durin the 1st half, but by the finale i ws sobbing (┬┬﹏┬┬) a pleasent surprise was that whil madoka is clerly a deconstuctin of the mahou shoujo genree, madokka doublesdwn onthe themes of wat it means to be a "magical grl' & the importanc of drweams!!
✧ mrs. magica! ✧
ibe secwetly been wokring on some deeep lore stuff 4 meh games! i wantto add a magik system subbtle enough to fit within a detective setting... wel its more than just a magic ssytem. soem of it will be introdced in avulsors but i wann builld on ti mre in latter games! (and also work w 3d moore!)
thats all for now tho. ok byyyyyyee ❤❤❤
- fergsurf
2023/10/04
mayvbe i shoulbnt b going into detailsss about my thought promcess 4 projebct planning, but idk whatevess X3 so heres wats on my brain lately!! 
i wanna make a 4th smol gam before end of the yeer, i coudl easily mak something low effort before the end of october, btu ii kinda wannt each of the 4 gams to be representive of each quarter of how my year went. a sorta mood piec of myyear. at da sam time geting thhe promject done earlier ewould alow me to spenn ythe rest ogf the year starting work for the next year?? Wat do??
my plans 4 nxt year wass orignlly 1 collab & finnlly releamsing killsed atack of de cyberdeds (aka avulsors), butt now am no t sure! i thimnks me still need to trainn!! magggot Feast & Super stone serennade both took me a lil; less than 3 monthss to make (each), so i fel like mayybe i shoudl spend 2024 making smol gams that are 6 months-worth of scope. hmmmm :3,.. like only mak 2 gams in 2024 that r 6 months of devlopmemt long? so im can leArn scoping promperly! I DoNT KNoWW!?! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Picture of megam makin!!
i fel lik this post is proof dat i am a very silly person that stwesses ofver very silly thimgs... (⊙_⊙;)
- fammsoft
2023/09/30
hiii!! welcome 2 my special corner! :3 dis where i share my priivate thoughts & demveloper notes!
umm,.. idk what eles to addms. Oh! I,ve watched Gravitation recently!! its so fun & the guys kiss! ON THE LIPS!! OwO" i especially love iz fashion on display. i made a quick collage of it for u: (picture)
Yuki holding Shuichi.is so CUTEE!! ❤❤❤
ive ben thinking alot about my art & what my next gam should be.. i wanna makee something cool & draw for iit, butt i dont know if i wanna pwessure myself rn.
im kinda stressed with some personal stuff atm :c honestly, alot of my future will be decisied soon so itz wayying on me (┬┬﹏┬┬)
BUT i WONT GIVE UP!! i wILL NevER GIVE UUPP!! Im too angy! >:c too manny people hurting,. too many people stressd or giving up!! i wont allow it. i need to get myshitt together & help oout!!
if ur pissed off at the world like me, the dev of "He Fucked The Girl Out Of Me" (a game about survival sex-work) is trying to get out of texas. so please consider donating to her itch (link). her other gams r also really gr8!!
HFTGOOM's cover art.
sry for getting all serious,,. i hope u've enjoyed ur round around da website! Com again some otheer time & i will have posted newer stuffsz!! :3 byebyyyyeee ^^
- fangoft
